Thursday, December 30, 2010


Cole said he'd break our internets.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Unverifiable Hypothesis

If you sliced people up like paper, there would be so many pieces you wouldn't even be able to count them all in the same day.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Proposal for the City of Harrisonburg

Policemen should get free slingshots so they can shoot robbers getting away in balloons.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Discovering International Trade

Why is everything I have made in China?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

The origin of Man

C: Where do cats come from?
Mom: Other cats.
C: But where did the first cat come from?
Mom: Good question! Where did the first person come from?
C: From a fairy who put two people on the Earth, and those people made all the other people.
Mom: Some people think so, but they call the fairy God. Other people think we came from monkeys.
C: No, from apes. First they were apes, then Indians, and then people.
Mom: No, Indians are people. I think you mean Indians were the first people who lived here.
C: The first people to live in houses? No, they didn't live in houses, they lived in pyramids!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

8 million

Mom: What is 4 million plus 4 million?
Calvin: 8 million! Mom, you messed my HEAD up with MATH!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Black on black

If you draw black marker over black crayon, it GLOWS IN THE DARK.

Person cakes

Zombies eat person-flesh cakes!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Teaching Oleana Science

There are little things you can't see, and they're called germs and they make you dirty. Everyday they make you dirty.

Monday, July 5, 2010


Mom: Name an animal that begins with "D".
C: a duckladder!
Mom: What's a duckladder?
C: It's an animal that climbs up trees even though it's a duck.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Bad Ship Lollipop

C: I have pirates on my belt!
Mom: Those aren't pirates, those are skulls and crossbones.
C: No, they're called Jolly Ranchers.


Dad: What letter does "xylophone" start with?
C: Z!
Dad: Actually, it's X.
C: X?! That's crazy! That would be an "X-lophone"!

Sunday, May 16, 2010


Cole believes everything I say. He's right.

More Butterflies

I'm a real butterfly scientist!

A Butterfly

His legs are leaving hearts and hearts on my arm.


Mommy, if I were you, I wouldn't want to be you. I would want to be me.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Scooby-Doo is his real name, Scooby-Doo-Be-Doo is his long name.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


I can't do it as soon as possible!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

On the Rope Swing

Dad - Okay, two more pushes.
C - Okay. This is the first one... no! It's the zeroth one!
Dad - No, it's number one.
C - No! It's negative one!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Stu at the Vet

I know how they make him younger - they take out his bones and give him littler bones.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Memories of Oscar

Oscar got ran over by a car, and I had to stay in the house alone for a while.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The colors of McDonald's

Mom, did you know this? McDonald's restaurants are painted in the colors of ranch, ketchup, and mustard!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Sometime in the future

If you stick your hand in this bucket, I'll give you 17 dollars sometime in the future!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Um... no?

Heard yelling from upstairs: Can I ride this motorcycle down the stairs?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

A Sad Truth

Looking at an illustration of beef cuts: "Cows give us gifts when we kill them!"

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Melting Snow

Look! Life is coming for grass!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Looking at the Star Trek Calendar

C: What's this day say?
Dad: It's Majel Barrett's birthday.
C: Ooh! Did we get an invitation?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


You guys almost never get cut by knives.

Monday, February 8, 2010


Skunks spray tomato juice.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Units Part 2

Look at how tall that is. It's like seven milliliters tall.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Block of swiss at the deli counter

Mom, that is the cheese that MICE eat! Mice LOVE that cheese!!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Playing a Toy Horn

Dad: That's really loud.
C: Did it scare your ears?

Saturday, January 23, 2010


Mom: You have a really good memory!
C: I have a book of things we've done in my brain.

Monday, January 18, 2010


[Puts Lego hair on a Lego airplane]

Look, Mommy, it's a hairplane!


I'm going to make a Lego zombie and then call a fairy to make it come alive at night.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Lego Traveler Set

C: The suitcase has secret papers in it.
Dad: Spy papers?
C: No, papers with math on them. He's going to the conference.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Yarn Store

I loooove seeing yarn rolled up!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Sunday, January 10, 2010


Everybody hates bills! Sending money to companies... And you have to do it!

Monday, January 4, 2010


That's a lot of jelly Mommy got. It's like a whole mile of jelly.

Bush/Cheney, Shorter Version

I'm trickier than Cole. I'll blow up his house first.